CASE STUDY #326615: THE PHONY
what we have here with 326615 is a classic case of studying to be cool, wayyy to fuckin hard. you'll notice almost immediately the subject is a high school or college aged girl from hints like searches for prom hairdoos. its safe to say that she is from pennsylvania, from searches for wachovia arena and the university of scranton. right away youre going to see that this girl spends faaaaar too much time looking for song lyrics which leads me to believe she most likely has some ulterior motive, such as being that girl who can quote any song, or sing along in the car with her friends who just know the songs. she tries to be knowledgable in the field of guitars, most likely to hold her in own the conversations with people who know a thing or two. its pretty obvious she doesnt know much about music due to the fact that she searches single lines of lyrics (often misquoted) which further fortifies my belief that she is most likely a fake. she wants desperately to stay educated on haute couture, with numerous searches about italian fashion designers. she searches for quotes about enlightenment and for funny movie quotes to keep up with friends who have much more personality but in the end its never enough. not even with kirsten dunts' hairstyle (you'll get it). she tries to be up on the latest things, searches for bonaroo so she can make a desperate attempt to talk about it, to sound like shes knows, shes down, shes hip. but its never enough. she googles life. shes a snore....
HIGHLIGHTS:
the search for decemberists lyrics on may 22, 2006. she made a good attempt there to learn legionaires lament, but unfortunately it doesnt look like she turned up any results, too bad.
a search for what i can only assume are a mangled version of a wish you were here by pink floyd on march 22nd, 2006. i cant be sure if thats what she was going for... but you fucked that up huh?
searches for movie quotes and quotes about enlightenment. cmon, read a fucking book. watch the movie. cheater.
lyrics to, i just died in your arms tonite... nuff said.
DIAGNOSIS:
now i followed up a lead that i thought might be a longshot, and i dont know. theres a search for a name in there, melissa noll, who turns up at elizabethtown college with honors in psychology in 2005, which would have made her a senior to recieve the honors award there. my theory is that melissa is the older a couple of sisters. melissa noll has always been well liked, successfull in school and dating. most likely she has overshadowed her sister, and left her with a slight inferiority complex. none of these searches are really school related. i think the younger noll may have traded in failed pursuits in educational success for failed pursuits in social success. i see some degree of resentment, and a perceived need for overcompensation in life.
VERDICT:
right or wrong, in my minds eye this girl sucks. shes a total downer, she tries too hard, shes educated herself on all this shit, and shes still clueless. shes what i would most likely consider a bummer, a downer, or lump. i would suggest she pull her head out of AOL's ass and find herself in real life instead of online. its harsh i know, but you have to be firm with these types or they will suck forever.